Unfinished Life

She grabbed the basket of clothes and dumped them all in the middle of the washroom floor. Darks, whites, colors....all so mundane.

Kelli hated doing the laundry but lately found solice in sorting, washing...folding...anything to take her mind off of the things that were really bothering her.

Grabbing an arm full of whites she carefully placed them in front of the machine that her mom purchased when her son was born. That was over twenty years ago. It was still in good condition and had only been repaired once...unlike her. The past two years seemed to be filled with doctors, prescriptions and words of encouragement. All of which Kelli had decided was a waste of time and energy. The doctors all sounded like robots, the prescriptions made her feel worse and the words of encouragement seemed to fall on deaf ears.

Removing the load from the washer Kelli placed them into the dryer and turned the knob to 30. That knob....she had touched it so many times before and each time setting to 30 minutes. Afterwards she would always have to turn it back and add more time. More time.....a luxury that Kelli knew she didn’t have. There was so much more she wanted to do. So much more that needed to be done.

Questions of what, when and if constantly rolled around in her head. Although the kids were adults, they still needed her both emotionally and financially but mostly emotionally. How well would they manage without her?

“I’m not finished!” she would often yell to the walls.  She always wished her life could be just like that knob on the dryer...just turn it back and add more time.  Only if...